i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Randomize
