Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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