It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
