i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
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