Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
