I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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