So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
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I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
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Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
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