Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Randomize
