I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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