She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
Randomize
