Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
