I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
Randomize
