why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
you inspire me to be a worse person
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize