Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
Randomize
