You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
He shit in the fireplace
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
Randomize
