I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Randomize
