what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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