If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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