You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
Randomize
