I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
i think my mom watched the whole time
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
Randomize
