We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
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I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
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He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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