"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
