The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
