I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
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