I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize
