the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
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