No more Irish car bombs ever.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Randomize
