Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
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