i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
I am one with the molecules
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
