omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
