i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Randomize
