Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
