So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
i think i scared a bird with my dick
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
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