thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Randomize
