my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Randomize