why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
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