I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Randomize
