I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
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