Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize
