I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
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