ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
