My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
Can you repeat that, but with context?
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
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