we need to drink 2009 down the drain
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
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