Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Randomize
