What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Randomize
