i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Randomize
