we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
They are going to name an STD after you.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
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