btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
Randomize
