Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
