I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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