I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
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