I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize
