He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
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