**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
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