Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
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