I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
