Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
Randomize