I can't watch pbs sober anymore
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
